I’m not Broke, I’m just a Homeowner: 3 Things I wish I knew Before buying a House

If I spend any more on this house I’ll have no other choice but to return it back to the sender because this is becoming a weapon formed against me. It’s getting a little too real for the kid and honestly I’m just a girl. For those who don’t recall, last year my husband and I became homeowners and I am one invoice away from selling feet pictures. Either that or I’m going to drop an online course and link it in the bio for the people of God. So consider this blog an honest resource; a warning if you will; to really think things through before purchasing a home. 

Tackle your debt as often as it’s feasible: One of the things that we’ve been doing is making mid month payments on our mortgage to ensure that we do not drown in interest rate because honestly, I can't swim for real. This looks like making the monthly mortgage payment at the start of the month and then paying at least half of that amount mid month to cut down years of debt that can accumulate from interest. If you are a homeowner or planning on becoming one, consider this as a way to ensure you

do not end up paying twice the mortgage amount. This will not always be feasible but to the best of your abilities, tackle it head on. You may need to do door dash at home or perhaps gift everyone hugs and thoughts for birthdays and holidays because honestly; it's the thought that counts and we could all use some counting.

DIY or outsourcing: Another thing we’ve had to learn the hard way, is that the cheaper route isn’t always the wisest choice. There are things that one can DIY but at a certain point, one has to be honest with oneself and acknowledge their capabilities and limitations. In my heart of hearts I believe I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me however; the results do not always support that hypothesis. There are in fact things that I cannot do and even the Lord cannot call nor equip me for such a time as this. While it’s often a good idea to DIY or outsource with someone giving you the cheaper rate, sometimes quality work requires the release of funds. We’ve had to learn that lesson twice now because as two Africans, our goal is always to save and cut corners. In homeownership however, the best work comes with peace of mind and while it costs more, it is always worth it and saves you from having to call on your ancestors to curse the people of God. If you are on the fence on whether or not you should spend on that big home project, let this be your sign to get it done once right because cutting costs can sometimes result in spending more to damage control. 

There’s a price to these things that Jesus didn’t pay for: The last thing I wish someone told us before we became homeowners is that whatever you think it’s going to cost you, plan four times more. We wanted to clear and level out our backyard and in our naivety, we budgeted a good $5k at most because surely, it wouldn’t cost more than that. After receiving several quotes from different experts, we went for the cheaper option and after many arguments; where I assigned all the blame to my husband, I’m embarrassed to report that we’re close to spending four times the planned amount. This is after my husband rallied all the men in our lives to do as much as they could with limited machinery. We tried our best and by we, I mean I supervised the logistics that went into orchestrating the supply of water and snacks for the men as they labored. Dear gentle reader, believe me when I say, I am a self proclaimed expert when it comes to this; you are definitely underestimating the cost. 

We have invested so much money on this house already even with smaller projects to make it more our home and the only thing tighter than our current budget; is a G-string on a sumo wrestler. The budget is so tight that date nights lately include a whole lot of indoor picnics, homemade pastas, and massages that somehow always end up with my breasts in somebody’s mouth. At this rate my breasts will be dropping it low and playing head, shoulders, knees and toes before I even become a mother.

This isn’t designed to discourage you but rather to be transparent about the realities of homeownership. This home has brought me joy and has hosted some of my fondest memories and I am proud of the journey that we're on. My hope with this is to encourage you to plan your budget accordingly and prepare your breasts if you have them or if you identify as having them. 

Yours truly, 

Benny The Homeowner