Am I becoming an adult? #2022Lessons

It’s that time of year where most of us try to be more reflective in order to not take the same junk into the next year. Now don’t get me wrong, this is easier said than done especially for those of us that exist in a constant state of dopeness. It’s hard to imagine that this perfect work of art still requires growth but alas, here we are. These lessons were born from a place of gratitude while others from feeling depleted after making the same mistakes repeatedly. Like by the 7th time, it’s no longer fun to have to pick your own heart from the floor.

• Being true to myself regardless of how they move

In the event it’s still unclear, let me remind you all that I am incredibly dramatic. So much so that whenever I get my feelings hurt, I am quick to make vows out of pain. I went through a season where I felt like I was giving more to others than I was receiving. This doesn’t mean that I think every interaction/relationship has to be equally beneficial for both parties but when the imbalance is continuously obvious, baby we have to do something about it. If I’m constantly pouring into you to the point of overflow, and my cup runs dry but you’re nowhere to be found, I reserve the right to feel a way.

Out of this, I decided that I will match everyone’s energy. Like if you go low, I’m going to meet you right there. As a matter of fact, I will mop the floor with you because I was determined to treat others the way they treat me. The only problem with this is that I am naturally a loving and giving person. This began to affect me mentally and I realized that the key isn’t to move like they move. The key is to simply remove myself from spaces that don’t serve me or pour back into me instead of turning myself into a cold-hearted person. The world doesn’t need anymore people who do not care about anything or anyone. This Me, Myself, and I mindset isn't the flex y'all think it is. Kindness and compassion towards others is way cooler and might actually fix that constipation some of y'all been rocking since 2009 but I digress. I don’t know when the switch happened but slowly but surely I started coming back to myself and pursuing relationships where reciprocity wasn’t a constant cause of friction. This lesson allowed me to go back to my jovial and passionate self with my chosen tribe.

• Speaking truth without kindness or wisdom is CRUEL

This year I really slowed down and started thinking about the human on the receiving end of my “honesty”. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s imperative for us to speak our truths, hold others accountable, and offer constructive criticism. However, if all of that isn’t done in kindness or compassion, then the giver is just cruel. I am one to always “keep it real” but my delivery wasn’t always kind (not to be confused with nice). This year I really thought about what I wanted to say (if anything needed to be said) and tried my hardest to deliver information gently. I'm just saying! Some of y'all should try this too.

• God and therapy are always great investments

If you are a believer like me, I really encourage you to pursue a deeper relationship with Christ. This year, God filled me with so much joy and during my lowest moments, His grace was truly sufficient. I learned to lean on God and remember that He’ll always be the one I truly need when it’s all said and done. Between God and therapy, I couldn’t help but grow. So when you see me in the new year just flourishing in my abundance, please don’t pressure me.

What have you learned about yourself this year? What are you taking with you into the new year? What are you leaving behind? Journal and comment your thoughts below.