My Nyansh Secured Me a Husband

So your girl is getting married and just to be clear, once I get married, I plan on responding with “my husband and I” for everything. So let’s say you run into me at a coffee shop and ask how I’m doing, my response will be “my husband and I are doing well”. Depending on who you are, I might even shake your hand with my left hand so you can get into the ring. I want to say that “I’m just joking” but the reality is I’m really not so let’s not stand on ceremonies. The amount of dating horror stories I’ve heard both online and in my personal friendships, is beyond baffling to me. One guy asked online if it would be appropriate to have a shower and nap on the first date. In case you thought you read wrong, this man asked if a woman would be okay with coming over for a SHOWER AND NAP as their first date. I thought Netflix and chill as a first date was lazy but this right here, takes the win. I would have respected this man if he had just said “I’d love to have sex with you for our first date”. The audacity and lack of decorum seems to be on sale so best believe I’m going to soak in my partner and celebrate the fact that he made the best decision of his life getting with me.

On a more serious note, getting married is not something I thought would be possible for me. This is because I operated from a lot of trauma and I honestly didn’t see enough healthy relationships around me to excite me about getting married. Most couples I engaged with fell among these 3 categories: 1) couples who tolerate each other for the sake of the kids they birthed irresponsibly (yes I said it!). You know those couples who only stayed together to show everyone the length of their marriage instead of focusing on the health of the said relationship. Not exclusive to all Christian couples but some of us church folks really idolize being married to the point where we’ll justify any and every abusive behavior in order to stay married. 2) couples that are so misaligned in values that it’s almost nauseating to watch. These are the couples whose differences pull them on such opposite sides of the spectrum and you wonder why no one got up during their wedding to protest the union. 3) couples who are unequally yoked as it relates to their commitment to the marital vows. I’m talking about those who consider cheating on their partners as a “up and downs” that all marriages go through. Or my personal favorite; men who want 'submissive' women who will take on the role of their mothers and continue raising them but aren’t ready to be committed husbands or put in any work into the relationship but I digress.

After being exposed to such examples, I wasn’t even thinking about meeting someone with a decent backbone or enough common sense, let alone committing the rest of my life to said person. It wasn’t something that felt practical or wise and I honestly thought that even this relationship would eventually end. I did my share of testing this man’s patience to see what would send him running for help but alas, my nyansh secured me a husband (nyansh: refers to a woman’s buttocks). I am not at all claiming that my relationship is perfect because there are days I want to throw the whole man in the recycling bin. What I am saying is that, I have experienced love in a way I didn’t know was possible and I'm open to seeing what this journey would look like for us. If you are anything like me and love happens to come your way, don’t turn it away trying to project other people’s stories into your own. You deserve to experience love; whether that be in romantic or platonic relationships, so don’t let what others walked through become the blueprint of what your life has to look like.

I am really happy right now so I’m going to leave it at that.

Reflection:

Don't be a hater, congratulate me in the comments and feel free to leave any advise for me. Of course I will ignore the advise but by all means, leave it down below!